One more week down.

Finished another week in LA. I've had some real successes this week, so I count my blessings. This second, however, I'm feeling very depressed. I'm just whipped tired, my grandpa'd say that I was rode hard and put up wet. (Forgive my idioms, puns and sarcasim.) Things have got me confused and more than a little injured inside, I keep wanting things to be one way, but they seem to always be just off the mark. I've somehow misplaced my faith in the universe, she keeps things just over the horizon, just at the end of a double rainbow and I tearfully watch that yellowing line at the end of the sky. I feel more alone at this moment than I have in a very long time, my connections at home are strained by my distance. Even when my moods wouldn't allow me to spend as much time with my babies as I would like, but somehow, my closeness geographically was of comfort to me. Now I'm a full day's drive away. Seventeen hundred miles. Phoenix, Tucson, Las Cruces, El Paso, Van Horn, San Antonio, Houston, Lake Charles...home. I was so exciting to hang out, drive, interview, move to Burbank. Now I live here. So the same fucking thing that is wrong at every place I live, is wrong here; me. I love the stupid saying, "no matter where you go, there you are." The version of "Ganer" that lives in Burbank, is remarkably similar to the version that lived in Lafayette, Austin, Las Cruces...

The good thing about life is that tomorrow I get another chance to feel better, to do it right this time.

I'm hoping to make it to the beach tomorrow, maybe take in some surf. It's been kinda cold so we will see... Another day in Burbank done.